So you find yourself on a talk show circuit, exhorting the spiritual benefits of horse masturbation. Realize that this world is cruel, and the only time you’ll ever experience agape love is when jacking off beasts of burden. He actually, physically cannot call you.ġ0. Not just because he’s too busy at work, but because he has hooves instead of fingers. Let the world know how much you care for your horse. Then take the residual jism, spread it over your face, take photos, and send them to all your friends. When the horse deposits, his eyes will roll to the back of his lids, his back leg will kick, and he may feel vulnerable.
While stroking the gigantic animal penis, you’ll likely feel a range of emotions (embarrassment, self-loathing, jealousy that your needs aren’t met, etc.). “Oh equine god, I am running the flag up your majestic pole. If not familiar: it’s the same motion Bobby made at you in 7th grade on the bus when you said you wanted to finish your algebra assignment.ĥ. Apply your warmed right hand to his monument, thumb extended in the classic shaft-grabbing motion. How do they keep you contained in this pen?”Ĥ. “Nice horsey, beautiful mane, great fetlocks…” Then, stroke his manhood: “I’ve never seen such a massive horse unit as yours.
Horse semen typically has a discharge force of 125,000 CFS (or the stream of a fire hose).ģ. Lay newspaper on the ground (horses typically have a blast radius of somewhere around 4 feet). I prefer Clydesdales, but really any horse with a large, fully-erect cock will do.Ģ. Ideally one with a beautiful chestnut or palomino coat. Or, if you want to go one step further, you can visit the Guolizhuang Restaurant, in Beijing, which specializes in penis and testicle dishes. You can never stop, you can never catch up, you can always get a new one, a better one.” The museum was started up by Sigurður Hjartarson, whose interest began when he was given a bull’s penis as a boy.Īccording to Hjartarson: “Collecting penises is like collecting anything. If this list has tickled your fancy, your next move might be to plan a trip to Iceland and visit the Icelandic Phallological Museum, which is dedicated to all things penile. And just in case there was any doubt, it doesn’t make you go blind, either. Thankfully, nowadays, food manufacturers spend less time trying to convince the youth to give up masturbation. He invented cornflakes and other products because he thought that plain foods would lead Americans away from the “sin” of masturbation. John Harvey Kellogg, the breakfast cereal mastermind, hoped that they would. If it is difficult to have or maintain an erection while awake, but not during sleep, this can point to an underlying psychological cause, rather than a physical one. Whatever the reason behind nocturnal erections, they can be useful as a diagnostic tool. So, by reducing the inhibition, the penis becomes erect. These cells inhibit the tone of the penis. However, because people with vaginas experience something similar - nocturnal clitoral tumescence - bed wetting prevention is probably not the entire answer.Īnother potential explanation is that REM sleep is linked with switching off cells that produce noradrenaline in the locus coeruleus, which is in the brainstem.
HORAE PENIS FULL
One theory is that it might help prevent bed wetting: An erection inhibits urination.Ī full bladder is known to stimulate nerves in a similar region to those involved in erections. This is also called “nocturnal penile tumescence,” and it’s still not clear why it happens. Most people with penises have 3–5 erections every night, mostly during REM sleep.
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